I wanted to send this while I feel strong. We have allways had a deep trust. A communion of words. I don't know what my future holds. So much has changed since I met you. I am struggling to break free of the depression, the hooks of my past but also my life. You once said pray for me gyspy princess, you once felt as if you were not going to make it...
I hate my job. I hate everything about it. I hate the people, the office, the role I am playing. I hate my boss the most for refusing to lead or guide me. To teach me anything. I don't know what I am doing and when I ask for help I am surrounded by cowards who behind his back agree with me yet when he is near... Get quiet. I am belittled and ridicled dailley, put down.
I am trapped in city where I see m past, my mistakes which I live over and over again as if I am forced to replay my life...
A life that has held only pain for me...
I have no joy, I never smile..
It was a cruel joke to think you could love me.. Ha I say, ha.. Who could love this man..
Even you have taken back every kind thing you ever said, even you who says there is good in me never describe what is good.. So all I see is the garbage because staying and letting me write, letting me know you is not what friendship is. Frienship is about helping the person see the good in them..
And so..when nobody does that..the voices win.. The cats they say you have a quest gebadia.. That I am too build this facebook application cybersweetness but it is too boring and I don't have the money to make it what it needs. I have nobody to shae it with. The woman the cats chose to be my mother.. Is in debt..
I pray each day god will take me from this world. I don't exercise, I cry myself to sleep, I drin too much and smoke too much tobacco. Maybe I will I die and my life insurrance will give my mother money to retire on..
So if I don't make it gyspy princess, please know the moments when you pretended to love me were the best of my life.. Just every other moment for me was hell
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
