I am empty inside...my words are gone..

I have nothing left inside.. love has left me a shriveled up shell of a man.. I remember her saying I restored her faith in ever after love... which is ironic cause she took mine.  We are friends or at least that is what we call ourselves but it is an illusion.  I had to fight and beg to get 15 minutes of her time to get simple answers to her questions.. she likes to say yes to many things and then forgets she ever said yes to them.  here I am trying to make enough money so my mother does not lose her house and trying to count on her is like trying to keep your footing under a sheet of ice... you never know what yes is real.  It is me she says who needs to learn to trust but how can I trust a woman who does not trust herself.. whose mind changes like the wind... who calls me a friend yet always puts me last.. it is always me giving her quotes, supporting her with kind words but such gifts are never returned... and so my chest is empty... as another person who I give to who does not give back.. it is the story of my life and why I shall never let my heart care for another again.. it is always the same story... I am destined to walk this world like a hermit among the millions.. surrounded but alone... The only sense of humanity I find is my videos on youtube which few actually watch... I will lie back now and just tell her I am well.  I cannot open my heart anymore.. I will never let my words fall for another.. I tried to find the way back to the man I was when I was younger but like before this world is not a place for that person.. this world has no room for poets and romantics... and so I lay to rest the last pure part of my soul and I shall remain this flawed broken man cracked from too much of life...

Posted via email from Gebalove