Only bad thoughts

People wonder what depression is like.. well the effect of depression is a whole series of events which all lead to one place.. I suck...which is why I do a lot of my videos..  Just the other day I got an email from a 14 teen year old boy who said nobody believes him.  I told him to find someone to talk to like the school counciller... plus I described many of the pitfalls which I am too lazy to describe here..cause I am drunk in the morning... I tried to explain to him that pills help lesson the emotional up and downs but they don't cure the scars that are left from your time locked in the madness... the reason why I drink...see I lay in my bed and imagine the sadest possible outcome to everything.. I don't know how to have happy thoughts..  I wish I was stupid but this whole week I have not had one message from the person I have tried so hard to win her affection.. logically I know she is not a net person and is really busy in exams but it does not matter cause my insecurities are far stronger... where I beleive it is me.. that I am not worth anything.. I cannot even imagine someone loving me.. I know I will never let anyone get close enough to care for me.. I just can't.. It is the curse of a fractured mind...

they call me igebadia.. I am going to drink some more and then take some pills to help me sleep...

Posted via email from a fractured mind...