Sometimes I think I am too hard on people. My old basketball coach said I would shut down if he was ever hard on me. It is hard sometimes for people with little confidence to not get down on themselves. I guess for me seeing Rocco not take things as serious as I think makes me mad. Maybe that is age talking because when I gave a speech at the end of my basketball career I could see all the times I went out instead of working out, I slept in instead of shooting a 1000 shots each day.. I took a shower instead of running wind sprints. That is the cruel irony of life.. the thing you wonder.. do we get another chance in some parallel reality even though deep down we know the scars inside likely would lead to the same place... Still at 33 I look back at my life and I ran from girl to girl trying desperately to find someone to love me enough so I would love me.. and they never do.. and it gets so much harder.. first love is hard to lose.. but so is the next one.. next one.. and the thing about life is as you get older you lose stuff.. things that use to give you joy don't and it is so much harder to get out of the funk... When I look at Rocco I see a kid who has natural talent and heart... I also see someone who is so lost in terms of who he is that right now he seems to be searching for something.. and maybe that is why he is not ready to be a rock star.. it would destroy him the pressure of it.. I just don't want him to throw it away.. to live with the regret I do.. but the thing is about being great at something you have to give u so much.. your music has to come first and you have to be willing to make it happen yourself. It is not babes and beer until you have spent 18 hours a day making a song perfect for 2 weeks... being great.. making the rock n roll hall of fame doesn't just happen anymore.... you have to want it not in words but in action.. when your friends go out you are at home working on your craft.. when some bad hot girl wants to date you have to walk away and say sorry I have things I want to accomplish in life.. when your parents fight is when you turn on the music and sing... Maybe it is confidence.. maybe Rocco needs the adoration of friends and fans because the rest of his life makes him sad.. the consequences of having someone say I do not love you.. the most horrible thing in the world to hear.. it rips at you inside.. and you feel like there is something wrong with you cause you can't let go so easily.. cause it always hurts.. and all you want is to not feel anything.. and the music drowns out the noise inside... Which I get.. which I struggle with too.. broken people trying to make dreams happen... and I can't help him.. cause he has to reach that point in his life where he hates letting anyone make him feel that way.. where he is tired of depending on other people to make him feel good about himself... and he takes his life into his own hands... because I can't make rocco a star.. I can only guide him along the right path.. he has to do the work....so I am giving this to god to figure out... when I have 10 covers of just rocco singing in his room... videos.. of that.. then I will know he is serious.. until then a prayer for him I would ask...
tales of a fractured mind...
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tales of a fractured mind...
question me: http://gebadia.com
fan me: http://facebook.com/cybersweetness
sub me: http://youtube.com/gebalove
follow me: http://twitter.com/gebalove
blog me: http://gebalove.com
live me: http://www.ustream.tv/togocats
shirt me: http://www.zazzle.com/togocats
mic me: http://bit.ly/8XVvPR
brand me: http://gebacards.comone to rule them all...
http://gebula.com
(all blogs feed this one)
